Hi everyone. I'm not sure how much I can write tonight - we're having a rough time with little Lexie. During the day she is laughing, running around, throwing the ball, playing with toys - the life of the party. Billy and I were sweating at dinner running around chasing her. She wants to go up the stairs, then down, then up, then down; you get the drill... At one point she was going up and then down backwards and cracking herself up. She is really a funny little kid.
At night time, though, and before and after nap time, she remembers her nanny and she cries uncontrollably. Tonight is was worse than ever and she is saying - mama mama mama - and it wasn't me she was referring to. I can honestly say it's breaking my heart. I feel so terrible for her; I think it is the sadest thing I have ever seen. I'm sorry to add this to the blog that has been so exciting and adventurous - but the reality is that she, and all these babies, have much grieving to do. I know that it is a healthy part of the process - each of the girls is displaying it in their own way - but, it totally and completely makes you so so sad.
Today we went to the civil affairs office and did all the final papers, signatures, and notarizations to make the adoption official. Alexa Marie is officially ours, no longer a child of the welfare institute. It wasn't bad at all - Lexie entertained us while we waited. You would never have known she was the same kid that is here tonight wailing. She also got her passport picture taken.
Today we had a little scare at the hotel. A couple of the foster moms were lurking around the hotel, trying to find their babies. I don't think Lexie's was one of them, but there were a couple of them here saying they wanted to just drop off some pictures. One lady followed me up the elevator - Lexie remembered her and went right to her, but then went right back to me. I guess she recognized her from the orphanage. Anyhow, when the baby that was hers saw her, she just lost it. I don't know what I would have done. I feel badly for those women, who also had their hearts ripped out yesterday. Something about this just seems not right at the moment. So much grief and sadness today, but hopefully some healing will be around the corner. Billy took Lexie and is singing to her (I had to have a break as my arms are so sore) and she's finally quiet. He's been so good with her, as has Tori. I knew this day was bound to be like this; so much of this is good, but so much of it is terribly difficult.
Here are a couple pictures from the GOOD moments we had today. They say day 3 is a big turn around, so here's hoping that tomorrow will bring less tears at go to sleep and wake up time. I miss you Katie - I hope you had a great Monday at school and that all your friends liked seeing Lexie's new picture. We all love you.
Thank you all for sticking through this with us, the good and the bad. We love you and can't wait to be back home soon.
Love,
K
