This is a picture of the fighting crickets (I thought of the Grady boys instantly!) - I think I called them grasshoppers, but I think they were crickets. They have the wall between them because they will fight if they are together. Bottom left fella was asleep, in a dead sleep. Gross.
The other woman is Pan, our awesome tour guide. Her English is phenomenal, and she's go so much knowledge along with a great sense of humory. Anyhow, her story is pretty cool too. She is from Inner Mongolia, so she will never be considered a resident of Beijing even though she has lived here since she was 8. They have a local citizenship which means that you are a resident of the place where your parents were from. So, even if you went to school in Beijing the whole time, you would have to go back to your hometown to take your college entrance exams.
She was born in 1980, the first year that the one child policy came out. Her parents worked hard, for the equivalent of $10 American dollars per month. She had an older sister, but when she was born, her mother wanted to keep her, so they were fined 4 months of her salary. So, she said when she was acting out, as a child, her mom would say, "I paid a lot of money to keep you, stop being such a naughty girl, you're going to have to pay me back." Jokingly of course - it was cute.
The guide, Tom, who picked us up at the airport had a cool story as well. He was actually one of 4 kids, but they were born before the 1 child policy was put in effect. He has 2 sisters and one brother. Education is not free, so not all of them get to go to school. His one sister and brother only went through primary school - the sister is now a factory worker, and his brother was sadly killed in a car accident. His other sister was allowed to go through middle school and is an accountant, and Tom (actually I think his name was Huang, but he said Tom for us) got to go to the university. He said his grandfather said that he was the favorite growing up and thought he was so smart. So, he was the one chosen to become educated. His parents are in their 60s and they work the farm, alone, by hand. He said they are very liberal, so he was not required to stay home on the farm - his parents wanted him to have a better life. They did not have enough money to send Tom to college, though, so his sister in law's family helped pay for his education, as did his sisters. I found that very interesting; I'm guessing he helps all of them out financially now, although he did not say.
When his brother died, he was married with a 5 year old daughter. His parents "allowed" her to get remarried, which she has done, but the daughter now lives with the grandparents. I wondered how she would feel, not being with her mom anymore, but he said - this way his parents aren't alone, they have some help, and the wife was able to start another family. OH - also, the lady from Hutong - I asked, why does she live in a house that belonged to HER family - I thought they got married and lived with the in-laws. But, since her family was well off, they could offer the home to the new couple, but typically that is something the husband's family would do.
I could go on forever, as you can tell. It's 3am here, well 4am now, and I can't sleep. Billy's snoring and my sound screen blew due to the outlet. Tomorrow I will be sure to get some batteries for that thing so I can sleep. :-) This is just so interesting; I wish I could tell you every detail, and I wish I had you guys here with us. I know I wont' have much time to write because in a day and a half that sweet little girl will be with us!
Rumor is that we will be getting updated pictures in the morning of the babies - so we're very excited, probably why I can't sleep. I'll try to take pictures of them and post them right away. There are about 5 other babies coming from Lexie's orphanage, so we couples have had some great talks - we've all shared the same concerns, all cried when we found out the babies were older than we thought, but then decided it was God's will, we all studied the medical records looking for something strange, we all worry about the transition and the loss our daughters will soon go through. So, it's amazing that you share such intimate thoughts and feelings with complete strangers, but I have a feeling that we'll be friends for years to come.
So, tomorrow night, our little Lexie spends her last night in the place she calls home, with the people who are her sisters and her nannys, her second home after having lost the first only 14 months ago. I wonder if she knows.... I wonder if she is capable of understanding, if only a little bit, that her new family is coming soon - her mama and her baba (daddy). I wonder if they even tell her, or do they just put her on a bus one day. I wonder how long it will take for her to know that we love her with all of our hearts and that we have loved her since before she was born. I don't want her to feel scared, or worried that we too will leave her. Why should a little girl who isn't even 2 have to endure such losses at such a young age? It doesn't seem fair, but deep down I know that this was all part of God's plan for her and for us. There is no way that one day of this, or one person involved was just "by chance." We will never understand the "whys," and we will probably never be able to explain it to Lexie, but I know what we will do. We will love her totally and completely, forever.
